Model: Mrs. Sandwich
Bio: Sue Henderson fell off a tire swing and sunk into a four month coma. She woke up and assumed the identity of a homeless fish named Mrs. Sandwich. She’s been modeling puffy parka vests ever since.
Wearing: Light Blue Vest made by Italian designer Antonio Antonio who refuses to make clothing that fits regular people. He designed a glow in the dark thimble for pop singer Adele to wear as a halter top.
Model: The Mistake
Bio: Spirit of a diseased love child of Argentine soccer player, Lionel Messi, and a 97 year old Asian man who sells newspapers. The child was left in a dumpster after it was born with a full beard and already wearing boots.
Wearing: Necklace is “talisman of the damned” available online only at Deadbabycoutour.com. Dress is a cloth made out of broken promises of her parents.
Model: Funpants McSnorlax
Bio: She was named when her meth addicted father threw scrabble pieces at a cop as a distraction so he could escape. The letters spelling, “Funpants Mcsnorlax”, lay across the face of his abandoned daughter.
Unfortunately drug addiction ran in the family; she suffered massive brain trauma while overdosing on Peyote and watching ‘The Help’ simultaneously. The combination of racial tension and hallucinogenics caused her to lose her mind, which is why she insists on wearing geisha makeup at all times and dresses with flags of emerging countries.
Wearing: A one piece dress known as, “My Genitals Are A Carnival”.
Hey you guys like these sweet silly nothings I write on this blog? Yeah you do, just say it, I want to hear you say it. Well come see me do stand up comedy, in front people, at a comedy club, not on the Internet. I’m like, way better live. If you’re in Boston you can do this. I’ll be at The Comedy Studio on November 19th at 8pm. Make reservations here: www.thecomedystudio.com. They sell out really quickly, so call and make reservations now, NOW I SAY. See you then, come say hi, I’m nice. -Max “Max Fox” Fox
Model: Wok Head
Bio: Due to a rare condition that makes her severely allergic to sunlight and falling objects, she must adorn a giant rice paddy hat made out of Gold. Does it need to be made out of Gold? Yes. Wok Head has notoriously fancy taste in protective gear; she makes men wear condoms fashioned out of Ivory and blood diamonds.
Wearing: One piece dress made by Lithuanian designer, The Theodore. It’s a giant cloth bag full of soup and is part of the “whats in that bag?” Fall Line. The piece is made in preparation for the “Back to Night School” season in Alaska, where it’s only dark one week in October.
Model: Tara Serious
Bio: Born into a family of table makers and chess players, her decision to not pursue a career in something incredibly dumb and boring came as quite a shock to the whole family. Tara’s trademark is painting giant bright rectangles above her eyes which she refers to as the “brake lights look”.
Wearing: She has a brain tumor/Ikea ottoman on her face, which is called a ”Joshinflufin” and is the perfect piece to tie together your living room. It’s limited edition because it’s limited to the one growing on her head.
Her dress is trapper keeper from 1994.
Model: Gertrude the Rhombus
Bio: This man-fish was found in the deep seas of Pan-Asia and was given the name “Sex Mouth” by native fishermen. It was later identified as an abandoned mannequin discarded after the movie ‘Blade Runner’ came out; not because of fear of becominging self aware but because it looked like Edward James Olmos.
Wearing: Bodysuit is a magic cloth from Sudan that makes you see your own death if you stare at it long enough. Lipstick is the blood of a newborn salmon applied by a blind woman. Hat is a toilet paper telephone.
Model: Leon Frazzapuss
Bio: “The Frazz” is an English television host of the popular show “Indeed You’re Pregnant”; in which he randomly tells people they are pregnant even if they didn’t ask or aren’t.
He also has released his own line of microwavable dinners called “Your child’s simply too fat” which helps kids lose weight by injecting ipecac into the brownies. He’s been arrested on five counts of attempted murder and fourteen times for performing illegal underground MRI body scans on immigrants.
Wearing: Pants stolen from a Czechoslovakian man who died from radiation poisoning.
His top is from the “Fuck you I’m so stylish” line of jackets designed by Inappropriate Thomas.
Hair piece is a Muppets finger.
Model: Mother Top Ramen
Bio: Swedish mannequin robot/ part-time illuminati oracle. She can predict murders before they happen and Feist LP’s before they’re released. Her organs are made out of porcelain.
She overdosed on echinacea and is constantly playing a hallucinated cello. This hand positioning has become known as “The Floppy Swastika”.
Wearing: Halo of Ramen Noodle which floats elegantly above her head. However It turns into spicy Udon Noodles every time Newt Gingrich hits his wife.
Her dress is a vegan bed comforter made out of soy beans and elephant eyebrows, which is then bleached with Newt Gingrich’s wife’s tears.
Model: Ebenezer Eyelash Jr.
Bio: Before becoming mentally unstable and joining a specialized indoor circus in Iowa where she was the only non-clam, she was a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist. She accomplished great feats in the field of journalism: Mrs. Eyelash interviewed a Narwhal for 13 hours straight before realizing it wasn’t Oorsen Wells.
Wearing: Dress known as “pic art from 90’s websites” made by German designer/ house DJ, ” Vladimir Skim Milk”.
